April 30, 1968
by Janine Stephenson
The hateful girls are still giving me problems. They whisper and smirk at me. Behind my back, they're warning others about my "habits." How can these people be involved with the campaign? It frustrated Becca so much that she ended up yelling, "How can you be for civil rights when you don't treat your co-workers nicely!"
My nervous stomach is starting to give me problems. Becca says that this is not worth getting an ulcer over. If it continues, she will complain to Craig about the girls' racism. I asked her not to do that. I don't want to get into trouble, and I'm not certain that I won't.
If that sentence is a whole lot of negatives, that's how I feel. Negative.
Even with all of this going on, Benjamin wants me to go out with him on Friday. I told him that I wasn't sure I could, with everything going on. I don't want to create a scandal that would hurt anyone. I asked him why he would still want to go out. He smiled sweetly and said that he liked me. Who cares what people think?
I do. I care what people think. And maybe that makes me a lesser person. But people who don't like you can make trouble for you. And I don't want trouble.
Benjamin says that people won't like me for a whole lot of reasons, most of them stupid. So it's no use caring what people think. People don't like him because he's black. People won't like me because I'm white. It shouldn't matter.
But it does. And I wish it wouldn't.
In the News: April 30, 1968
