May 12, 1968
by Amy
Don’t you hear the clicking?
I told Bea that I didn’t hear it. She asked me how I could miss it.
With the next call she made, she held the phone between us and nodded when there was clicking. As soon as she hung up the phone, she whispered, “That’s it.”
I’ve heard the clicking before and I thought a loose wire in the handset caused it. I didn’t know that it was because someone was listening in on our phone conversations.
I wrote her a note. “What about talking in the room?”
She shrugged and smiled. “How about the weather?”
“Is it supposed to be sunny all weekend?” I asked her.
“I think so. But I’d bring your umbrella just in case.” She winked and went about her business.
The core meetings are going to be moved to the park, out in the open with no bushes around. Glasses is outraged by the idea of any of this. “We’re Americans, for crying out loud. How absurd is this?”
Coleman thinks that the best way to deal with being monitored is by being as open as possible. If you have nothing to hide, then hide nothing.
I’ve never come under scrutiny, at least as far as I know. I certainly haven’t given it a second thought. But now, knowing that we’re all being monitored, it’s different.
I don’t worry about doing something wrong. I worry about the appearance of doing something wrong.
I worry about being accused and not being able to defend myself. I worry that something I’ve said will be rearranged into something I didn’t mean.
Most of all, I worry about people who are lazy and don’t think for themselves. The ones who believe everything they are told and don’t look beyond what is said.
It’s the one thing that makes me depressed about the work we’re doing. Who exactly are we fighting for and will they appreciate the work we’ve done?
I shouldn’t think about that.
Lesley is finally coming back next week. She called me last night. After being released, she decided to stay in New York a little longer to learn about things. “I’m coming back educated,” she said. “Columbia and Harlem man… Too bad you become a part of the wave out here.”
I told her that I wanted to hear all about it – in person. Probably in the park out in the open, where all good things are discussed.
