Crispus and Crackers

July 6, 1968
by Amy

I had the unfortunate pleasure of being called a dopehead hippie two nights ago. Coleman and I went out for a picnic and to see fireworks over the Lake. My hair is long and Coleman’s is not quite to his shoulders yet.

Some cracker with a beer gut hanging over his chinos began talking real loudly about how hippies shouldn’t be allowed to watch fireworks. We thought this was remarkably funny because anyone can watch fireworks. They’re up in the sky, asshole. Then the guy shouted that all gooks should die. His wife or girlfriend tried to grab him by the pants and yank him back to the ground. I thought he was going to come over and start a fight.

That’s when a policeman came over and gave us the eyeball because he thought we were causing the trouble. We looked away and ignored the whole situation. The cop settled the cracker down and told him that if he didn’t straighten up, he was going to go sit in a police car for a while.

I’m sure Crispus Attucks is wondering why the hell he fought for that idiot. Or what the hell happened to his country since.