August 12, 1968
by Janine Stephenson
I still hate George McGovern. There is nothing or nobody in the world that will make me like him. He's a sniveling little creep. Or Cretan, as Craig calls him. I like creep, but Craig says that Cretan is better because all Cretans are liars. So says a guy named Epimenides. Then he laughed a lot, but I didn't understand why.
So he told me that if he said that all Americans were liars, and he was an American; would that make his statement true or not? I didn't know how to answer that, because I could tell that this was going to be another one of those confusing Craig conversations. Any answer you give is wrong, and for no apparent reason. I'm not a big fan of logic anyway. It's too tricky and I don't think it serves a useful purpose. Regular logic is just smart thinking. Hypothetical logic is dumb. Life is complicated enough without having to think of the answers to questions that have no answers.
He exasperates me sometimes.
The campaign issued a bulletin today that we are to prepare delegates for what Chicago "may be like." We're not supposed to alarm them, though we're becoming more aware of the hostility that we've created by existing. Simply put, the people in charge hate us. I don't understand why they hate us, but they do. Craig says that Ron says that it's Johnson all over again. Except this time, Johnson is dressed up as a big goofy guy named Humphrey. According to Ron, the Hump lacks a Stump, which is codeword for meaning a backbone. Becca interrupted and said that it actually means that The Hump lacks a male organ. That's what "stump" means. Craig blushed and said that at some point during the convention, we will shout it from the rooftops.
Hump lacks a Stump is far catchier than McGovern is a Cretan. Though both statements are true.
